5:36 a.m. - 04.22.08
PROLOGUE //
When I was a child, I had long hair that was usually a mess. I would constantly get gum stuck in it, or candy, or get it so hopelessly tangled around roller brushes. It was always in my face, and my mom would always chase me into the bathroom to comb it. She would pull into a ponytail, sometimes to the side, and cover my eyes with her hands while she sprayed my bangs with Rave hairspray. I hated the way it made my hair sticky, but I liked the fact that it was called "Rave" and it came in an aqua can.
When I was a child, I wore pink cowboy boots with rhinestones and fringe - and I wore them with EVERYTHING. I wore them with purple leggings, or with my swimsuit, or even with a towel, having put them on immediately after getting out of the bathtub.
When I was a child, I would take a pillow into the yard, lay on it, and make shapes out of the clouds while eating popsicles. I would spend days by the pool trying to learn how to swim. I would wrestle with our dogs and yell at my brothers and play with my Barbies and go to the bookstore every week with my dad. I liked donuts with pink frosting and orange juice. I didn't like bacon. I was scared of ghosts and all my furniture was painted pink.
When I was a child, I wasn't a child. I was 11. I was in the 7th grade. I was flat-chested and a bookworm. I wore glasses and hated all my classmates. I cried every day over my math homework and stayed up late to watch episodes of 90210. I wasn't allowed to wear nail polish. The kids around me all thought they were badass, girls wearing eyeliner and gloss to make themselves look older. Using cuss words and hiding behind the computer lab to make out with each other. They were trying to be adults and grown up. I wasn't allowed to even wear nail polish. I was too young. I was just a child.
When I was 11, just a child, really, I woke up with a bruise on my arm. When I was 11, I had a blood test every day for a week. When I was 11, my parents got a phone call from the "Specialist." When I was 11, I saw my mom cry.
When I was 11, just a child, really, I was diagnosed with "acute promyolectic leukemia."
When I was just a child, I wasn't a child.
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